My internal, infinite state of discomfort has begun. I left with a stranger on a trip to a foreign country. Is that safe? Perhaps not, since I could be butchered, stuffed into a trash bag and fed to the fish in the sea, but still I went, not because I’m careless and reckless, but because I’m finally one with violence and fear doesn’t reside in my core anymore. So, thus I ‘’surrendered to chaos’’ and decided to finally leave the rationale and truly allow destiny to take over without resisting.

My search for excitement never ceases it seems, but perhaps it’s a mask for my consistent self-departure.

Ironically, many will say it’s the urge to depart from oneself, however, I see their opinion as mild mediocracy. The need to be stationed and stable (whatever that’s supposed to mean) in a long lasting relationship or marriage which forces them to compromise their own selves and needed freedom, is an everlasting cage that they choose to be in. People disguise their petty lives with socially acceptable tasks that are checked-off in order to boast the same to other’s in search of social validation.

People, civilians, rest their lives on the lines they drew. Those same lines they believe they drew themselves are nothing but a conglomerate of other people’s opinions and values, yet, they truly believe their lives are fully constructed by them alone- they trust the illusion of absolute control.

They believe they swim freely atop of the whirlpool, that forever sucks them into the deepest ends of the ocean, leaving them gasping for the air they have never truly breathed as they drown into the darkness of their subconscious. That whirlpool is called comfort. Comfort treats a state called surviving. They survive life without living.

Imagine surviving life. You inhale without breathing, you do without caring. You are mechanically programmed to do as you’re dictated by what is deemed normal and proper. You thus create this false happiness and this successful life, and little do you know it, you’re listing a magazine choosing your own grave. And as you’re laying down on your death bed; if you’ve ever gained a molecule of consciousness that is- you realize you haven’t lived what you wanted.

Dreadful. Pitiful.

Disturbing. Heinous.

Living life blindfolded is probably the most common state amongst us. Whether that be living your job, your relationship, your family, your society, your tiny social circle, your art, your vice, your emotion or your social media platform, we all live blindfolded by the constructions of others’ political, national, religious, societal rules which are inflicted values that you must follow in order to be accepted. Once you’ve digested this, if ever, you then realize:

The woken are not awake.
The educated are not intelligent. The geniuses are not brilliant.
The ignorant are not at bliss.
And the fallen are not abandoned.

We all struggle with the identical issues that are manifested in different variations on different levels, and the only way to truly live is to do, unapologetically, exactly what what you wish to do without inflicting pain on others. View everything and everyone through empathy, which is hidden deep inside you. Activate sound and listen, open your eyes and finally see, step aside and allow yourself to feel, touch each grain of concrete and absorb, taste the food that isn’t infused with corn starch and xantham gum. Use those five senses to finally experience being alive, to guide you in your true direction and allow you to inhale who you once were or never will become, and challenge everything you know.